A Well-Meaning Mother

name: Kirsty Newbury, mother of TJ (age 1 year)

date entered: 31/01/2007

country: Australia

story:

My transition into motherhood was one of the most terrifying and yet amazing experiences of my life so far. I had no idea that one little person could have so much influence on the way I saw the world, the way I saw my friends and family, and the way I saw myself. I went from being a very independent, career-focused women- completely time-rich and self-sufficient, to being a mother- indispensable, needed and completely controlled.

Of course that all got better as time went on, but no one ever tells you how emotionally draining being a mother can be. How you can be so devoid of sleep to the point of delirium, and yet blissfully contented and satisfied with your new role. How just when you think you finally have five minutes to yourself, your baby wakes up and you move without hesitation, unselfishly to attend to her needs.

I always said that the first thing they should teach you in pre-natal class to expect the unexpected. I was a well-meaning mother. I read all the books, watched all the birthing videos, went to aqua aerobics, ate well, slept well, questioned, researched and queried until I had exhausted every resource, determined to be prepared for my new life. Which is why I think I found the first six weeks of my baby girl's life so bloody hard! I tried to create routine, I tried to be 'super mum' and accompanied with the well-meaning advice from friends, family, neighbours, and people in the supermarket, I finally laid down in the foetal position (mentally of course) and exclaimed that it was all too hard (as many mothers do).

At this point, with a little external professional assistance, I threw out the books, jumped off the internet and started to follow my instincts. Miraculously, it started to get better from there. Baby Girl slept well, fed well, played more and became a delight to be around. Funnily enough, so did I! I think that being a mother has made me realise that there is no more important role, no greater social responsibility than becoming a mother. I feel so incredibly blessed to have this amazing experience to share with my partner, my friends and my family.

And the best advice I can offer to all mothers? Follow your instincts and throw the books.

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