Home Truths

25 August, 2008

Okay, so this is hardly a blog is it?.... my entries are not exactly frequent but "C'est la vie!"  I suppose I don't rely on this blog, or on the website, as much now to meet those identity and expressive needs. 

At the moment I'm fairly involved with my husband's business and my role in that engages my mind enough to not go insane with the mundane tasks of domesticity (but don't get me wrong, there are elements of domestic life that I have an almost primal attachment to). 

I'm writing this blog today though because I'm wanting to think through what this website means to me, because it has changed over time a bit. 

In many ways this website has been an extension of a social work philosophy to me - giving voice and validation to a population of everyday women

whose experience of motherhood can sit under the radar.  That still stands more strongly than ever for me, but to be honest, I think I need to acknowledge what this website means for me. 

For me it has been my sanity.  I don't know whether this has come through much during the time that I have run this site.  In those early days this site, even though it is about motherhood, was about a form of engagement for me that sat outside of motherhood.  It was something that I could create and think about other than what to put on the table that night for tea.  It was my escape, and sometimes, my addiction.

Life is not so consuming or mentally void anymore.  My boys are now seven and four.  Now that  I have more windows of time I don't desperately seek inner sanctums as much because I am not as house bound; and I have other ways to engage myself creatively and intellectually.  So I am not as dependant on this site for that outlet anymore.  But if I didn't have this site as a vehicle of expression I think I'd feel lost.  I also think that it is the only thing in my life, still, that connects me to my identity as a social worker and interest in community development in the context of new motherhood (apart from the fabulous connections I have to people as interested as me in the sociology of motherhood - two of whom contacted me via the site).  I certainly hope that even when I have found a way to re-enter my profession that this website will continue to be a source of satisfaction and interest.

So I'm saying all this to be true to myself about why I run this site.  Yes, I know it benefits others (I have others confirm this to me frequently) and I am happy that it contributes in some way to people's lives.  But it also benefits me and I just wanted to share that with you.

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