About Me

Why did I start this website you may ask.  Well let me tell you a story...

 

I always knew I would be a mum one day but the focus in my 20s was to develop my social work and counselling career.  I was never one of those people aching to hold someone else's baby.

 

Then I had my own.  My world changed.  Things that I expected to happen didn't happen and things that happened I didn't expect to happen.  What a kaleidoscope of experiences and emotions!  I didn't have post natal depression but that's not to say that I didn't feel overwhelmed - often.  I loved my newborn to bits but sometimes he drove me nuts.  Life was 24/7 baby and home.  Part of me didn't want it any other way and part of me felt consumed by the domestic machine.  I was so grateful to be a mum yet I felt so confused about who I was now.  And so isolated.  Sure I had family and friends but I didn't want to burden them with my stuff.  And if you've ever got together with a group of new mothers you will know how tempting it is to have baby-centric conversations and be seen to be coping well.

 

Not only that, but I became increasingly aware of this contradiction of ideals in society.  On the one hand women were revered if they assumed a care giving role: the domestic goddess; and on the other hand women were encouraged to be independent and career driven.  What was I?  Who did I want to be?

 

Well I did end up going back to work when my eldest was two.  I loved the work but life was certainly not simple anymore.  I loved getting back into counselling but I didn't find being a working mum easy.  Or, as it turned out soon after returning to work, a pregnant working mum with morning sickness! 

 

One of the things that I loved about my paid work, and that impacted me the most, was how rich and complex the lives of women can be.  I was a counsellor for women in the North of Adelaide and now that I was a mum these stories of courage and vulnerability struck a cord in me.  I really enjoyed giving these women a chance to be heard and move forward in their lives.

 

Then baby number two came along and the logistics of balancing work and family seemed too much.  My supports were limited and my eldest craved to be at home.  Not least was the fact that I didn't think I had the energy!  I also wasn't sure which direction my career should take.  So I left things for a while....

... Then in 2005 with my youngest being a year old I started reflecting on what it means to be a woman in today's society; what it means to be a mother; and how much society has changed in the last 50 years.  Intellectually I started getting a bit restless but I still didn't feel ready to return to work.  The book 'Great Australian Women' ignited an interest in reading sociological critiques of modern society and the experience of contemporary motherhood.  Call me a nerd but I loved doing some online research and slipping away to university libraries on the weekend sometimes.  Such peace and quiet!!

 

Setting up Mothers Be Heard in 2006 served two purposes for me: to meet what I perceived to be an unmet need in my community and to give me a means to express my creative and professional interests.  And I could fit all of this around the demands of raising a young family.  I really do get the attraction of working from home!

 

This stage of my life also caused me to reflect on how absurd the whole 'working mum' or 'full time' debate is.  Apart from serving to fracture a community of women at a time when we most need solidarity I thought that these definitions are just too limiting.  I still saw myself as a committed career woman even though I wasn't working for pay at that time and yet I was technically a 'full time' mum which somehow implies that this type of woman is unlikely to be a professional and has no intention of returning to work.

 

While I still had children at home my husband set up a company so I was able to re-engage in the workforce by doing his administration and accounting work at home which suited everyone.... except I was still grateful for this site because it was my connection to my social work and community values.

 

As the boys grew older and were both at school it was easier to entertain the idea of working for pay outside of the home.

 

Initially I secured some funding to provide a few Wellbeing Workshops for Mums through MBH at a local community centre in Adelaide.  Then I decided to work part-time as a Mental Health Clinician at the Adelaide North East Division of General Practice in 2009.  I co-managed and designed The Aged Care Life Journey Program which provided counselling and group work to residents of Aged Care Facilities.  While this population were vastly different to the world of mothers I still enjoyed the chance to hear their stories and support them in their changed circumstances.

 

Then, as often happens, life took a different direction.  In mid 2011 I decided to leave the Division and my thoughts turned back to MBH which I had kept running in the background.  I became very interested in offering a personalized counselling service to women as they embarked on their journey of motherhood.  So here we are today.

 

If you are still up for reading more then you can check out what the logo symbolizes, my top 6 favourite activities, and a little bio about my previous experience.

 

Felicity Chapman

 

BSW (Hons), MAASW (Acc.), Assoc.Dip.C.Counselling

Accredited Mental Health Social Worker

 

 

MBH Logo

You're a woman right?  Then you became a mother.  You are probably many other things as well: daughter, partner, worker, neighbour etc.  While being a parent is an important role, a lot of women find that it can eclipse most other parts of themselves.

It doesn't help that most services seem to assume that your experience of motherhood is completely tied up in the relationship with your baby.  Where is the 'you' in all that?

 

So the larger circle (bottom left) in the MBH logo represents this 'you': your identity as a woman.  The other smaller circles represent your identity as mother, daughter, partner, worker, neighbour etc.

 

Finally, the larger circle can also represent you as an observer.  My practice is strongly informed by a therapy (ACT) which encourages the usage of the self as an observer to create space between people and their problems.  The observer part of you is not affected by life's ups and downs and is an ever present source of calm and stability.  So in this way the larger circle can represent the 'observer self' and the other smaller circles could represent various other experiences that are happening in your life.

 

 

My Top 6

Walking along the beach

Hanging out with my family and our dog

Eating chocolate

Meditating

Catching up with my friends/ dinner parties

Going to the gym