Why be a grown up?

It's been heavy around here as Dad-in-law aka Poppy has been diagnosed with terminal cancer (lung, spine, brain) and my spouse and I will be primary carers when he needs us as Mum-in-law lost her battle with breast cancer in 2003.

I've been making an effort with my mighty munchkin and 'doing' something with him everyday - art gallery, war memorial, movies, tomorrow the glassworks, Friday fun factory - Saturday off to Sydney for a four day visit to six different sets of friends/family plus the Bronte Beach steam-train that both my Dad and myself used to go on when we were kids (let's hope it's still there!!). I can't wait to see his face when he sees the size of it. I also plan to take him on a half-day trip to Bunadore on the real steam engine. He'll be so chuffed.

As mighty munchkin told me after the trip to the hospital to visit Poppy "Mum's not fun to be with today" - told him that the "not fun bit" was over - so let's have fun NOW!

The whole purpose of kids I think sometimes is to remind us that we shouldn't be grown up all the time.

  #2    

yep

I agree wholeheartedly!! kids give you such a great spin on life and give you so many excuses to be silly and live life to the full.

__________________
mbhadmin

  #3      

why be grown up

Hi Bindi,

You are sounding like you are being really grown up!! What better way to go, particularly at a time like this for you and your family, than to slot in some fun and some 'me' time.

My mum passed away with cancer about eighteen months ago. One of my brothers was a little embarrassed at the hospital, in the hospice, because we were all laughing so much. I guess it does seem strange, but that was how it was for us. My mum was in denial right up to the end, that was how she wanted it, and the way she coped was by making jokes. It was surprising just how witty, or funny, she could be in the cirumstances but there you go. I've learnt that death, like birth, is a very individual and surprisingly and intensely human part of life. I am so happy that I was able to be there with my mum particularly through those last weeks and months. I've learnt that death, and dying is an essential part of life and to be caring for someone who is dying can be a real privilege.

I've found with my kids and others around us that they don't relate to death in the same way that we do (maybe because they are (hopefully) much further from the reality than we are) but like anything else in our lives, the way we engage with the realities of our own lives (the way we live) is the only real way we can teach our kids. This can be scary because often we may not know what to do, or how to react, or like with me at the moment, not be behaving as I would like to be. But there you go while I'm attempting to live (as I would like to) my kids are gleening some lessions that they may, or may not, want to take on in their own lives. What more can I ask?

best, and take care, ginalol