The IVF Survival Kit

www.nicholabedoscounselling.com.au

The concept of in vitro fertilisation has forever altered the way all couples move through the challenges of conception, pregnancy and parenthood. Every mum and dad I now speak to has thought about the feelings he or she would have if there are difficulties conceiving. That there are now ways to help couples for whom infertility is a reality is simply a miracle no 1960’s science fiction movie could ever have captured. That said, those couples who do go through IVF have some tough issues to deal with and I believe the ‘helping professionals” should be ready and willing to help ease this process on an emotional level.

Not just about baby
Until around 2003, IVF specialists considered that a couple would have no more concerns once they had successfully conceived and delivered a healthy baby; successful IVF was a complete ‘cure’ for the emotions that surround infertility. Over the last four years, researchers have begun to find that there can be lingering emotional issues for families and we are now very much exploring what these issues are and how we, as professionals, can help.
Most of the difficulties IVF parents have centres on anxiety. There is so much uncertainty within IVF; “Will my eggs ripen? Will the harvesting be successful? Will fertilisation take place? Will the embryo develop? Will implantation happen? Will the pregnancy last?” Experts know uncertainty is something the human brain hates because we cannot begin to process what has happened. We are stuck, waiting for something to go wrong and this situation breeds worry; the nagging questions around “Am I taking care of myself? Is there something more wrong with me? Will we ever have our own baby?” This worry can become part of life and can stay even when a baby arrives. Knowing how to help yourself and your partner is a great asset, not just during conception but for life in general.

Surviving, and thriving!
Nothing can make the IVF process easy but anticipating anxiety and living life to minimise it makes a huge difference. Here are some of the stress-reducing tips my clients have loved:-
• Choose a time to go through IVF that is as low-stress as possible. Avoid simultaneously renovating, caring for a sick relative and having an older child undergo surgery.
• Whilst you go through treatment, help each other find time to exercise, eat healthily and have weekly ‘down’ time when you can relax and enjoy a solo activity that boosts your feel-good hormones. Some suggestions include a facial, coffee with a girlfriend or yoga class for women and a beer with a mate, a game of golf or a quiet time to read the weekend papers for guys.
• Use complementary therapies that have been shown to boost fertility such as acupuncture and hypnotherapy.
• Have someone to confide in so that your emotions are not pushed ‘underground’. This may be a friend, family member or a professional.
• Don’t try to make your partner look at the situation the way you do. Both of you need to be able to voice your opinions without feeling judged.